Your Answer...

"He could be covered

in gasoline and I still

wouldn't be able to

ignite our friendship."

Memories fade.

Some don't.

Of course those are the ones that I desperately

wish I could stop thinking about...

Life goes on.

They have told me a million times.

I'm watching time go right out the window.

3 months left.

5 month pure friendship.

Gone.

Disintegrated.

Crumbled.

Over.

I couldn't wait on these tracks until you found me.

Like I said before, it would be too late.

I'm walking on without you.

You can catch up and follow.

Or you can go the opposite way.

Either way, life goes on.

My life will be completely rearranged either way.

I'm curious to see what path you choose.

But I can't wait forever.

Not anymore.

It's up to you now.

I'm done blaming this on myself.

You are the decision to our destinies.

Pick wisely.

Please.

I miss you...

Not just someone.
Not just anyone.
I really don't know why I bother.
I know the train will get to me before I even cross your mind.
But I am still waiting for you.
And only you.
And I know I shouldn't be.
But I miss you.
More than I show you.
More than anyone thinks.
And I think I need you...
Or at least, want? you.
For some reason I can't let this go.
Not yet, even thought it seems to be over.
Just knowing that there's that small chance that you think of me too.
That you might care.
That is what keeps me going.
I am your chalk that you smear across the sidewalk.
The pictures that get washed away.
That at one moment, meant something to you.
I miss you.
Still.
And I don't know why...

Broken.

Are you going to keep sharpening

it until you finally get a point?

Is it worth all the trying?

Is it already broken

throughout the pencil already?

Will you ever get the point back?

Then why not just toss that one and get a new pencil.

Already sharp and waiting to write a story.

Our story.

I'll be waiting...

Cry Me An Ocean.

"They say that life is like a roller coaster.

The ups and downs keep it interesting...

But all mine is are never-ending loops that

keep me disoriented and confused..."

Here I am, still in this ocean.
Ocean of thoughts, ocean of You.
Or maybe I was wrong this whole time.
Maybe I made this ocean myself.
Maybe you were not the one trying to drown me.
Maybe it was myself.
My ocean of tears from the last few years.
I was drowning in myself.
My own misery I trapped myself in.
I hide myself in.
But I cannot let this go on forever.
I will be free.
Not even I, nor You will hold me back anymore.
My mangled wings are stitched back together.
This time You will not stop me from reaching the clouds.

More thoughts...

It feels like you are still here, even though I know you're not.
Those walks along the beach, the talks,
the memories that still echo through my empty mind.
It feels like you pushed me, and here I lay
in the shallows as the waves lap over me.
I thought you would alway be
there for me, so where are you?
A wave washes over me and I gasp for breathe and try to get up.
But there you are again, standing over me.
Holding me down.
Pushing me deeper into the soft sand.
Terror floods my eyes as you smirk and
another wave beats me harder on my side.
As the waves recede, I realize you are gone.
Were you ever there?
Or am I just seeing what I didn't before?
Are you holding me down, or am I being weighed
down because I cannot let go of you yet?
There are cinder blocks tied to your feet
and you're dragging me down with you...


I know it's over, but I cannot seem to really grasp that yet.
I'm still stuck here laying on the ground.
Waiting to be picked back up.
Waiting to be saved from the crashing tide.
He is my ocean. Where is the lifeguard?

Thinking...

"If caffeine is love, and the hotter you are the sweeter you are,

you must be a decaf ice coffee."

What if we don't find "the one" on time...

What if we don't choose the correct fork in the

road that we were destined and never meet them...

What if someone makes a mistake and they never have the chance to meet us?

What if we do find them, but our haunting past

keeps us held back just enough that they don't

bother with what they think is nothing...

What if...that person isn't out there for me...