More thoughts...

It feels like you are still here, even though I know you're not.
Those walks along the beach, the talks,
the memories that still echo through my empty mind.
It feels like you pushed me, and here I lay
in the shallows as the waves lap over me.
I thought you would alway be
there for me, so where are you?
A wave washes over me and I gasp for breathe and try to get up.
But there you are again, standing over me.
Holding me down.
Pushing me deeper into the soft sand.
Terror floods my eyes as you smirk and
another wave beats me harder on my side.
As the waves recede, I realize you are gone.
Were you ever there?
Or am I just seeing what I didn't before?
Are you holding me down, or am I being weighed
down because I cannot let go of you yet?
There are cinder blocks tied to your feet
and you're dragging me down with you...


I know it's over, but I cannot seem to really grasp that yet.
I'm still stuck here laying on the ground.
Waiting to be picked back up.
Waiting to be saved from the crashing tide.
He is my ocean. Where is the lifeguard?